Department Stores and Ugly Purple Sofas
by The Catastrophic Teacup
Summary: It seems that even being dragged to the mall even has its perks. ExB, All human. One shot.


**Summary:** It seems that even being dragged to the mall even has its perks. ExB, All human.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Twilight'.

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Department stores and Ugly Purple Sofas**

"Alice, please have mercy. I have been on my feet for four hours already and, in addition to that, we are in the _lingerie_ section. Why, oh why, do _I_ have to be subjected to this?" Edward asked, feeling a combination of exhausted and exasperated. He ran his hand through his hair, ignoring the soreness in his legs due to standing and walking on them too long without a break. He also felt uncomfortable wandering around skimpy sleepwear and lacy undergarments.

"Because Jasper couldn't accompany here to the mall, and you were next in line. Maybe you could help me pick out a little somethin' somethin' for Jazz, eh?" Alice joked, winking and then laughing at the horrified look on Edward's face, while holding a red lacy bra.

"Ugh, Alice! Ugh! I don't want to think about what my little sister does with her boyfriend. Gah!" He squinted his eyes shut and placed his palms against his closed eyes, as if that would stop where the discussion was leading.

"Well maybe you should get used to being around this type of clothing anyway. I mean, if you're going to get a girlfriend..." Alice trailed off, trying to sound nonchalant, though the corner of her lips lift in amusement.

Edward's face lit up with blush as he stared wide eyed at Alice. He couldn't stand this conversation anymore. Alice seemed to notice this as he looked down at his feet almost shyly and sighed.

Edward had been set up on many dates by Alice but none had gone past a first date. He couldn't deal with the trivial things that he could almost read of their faces. Most were self-centred, all generally after one thing which, frankly, disgusted him, and Edward had enough sense not to waste his time with them.

He appreciated the sentiment, though. Alice just wanted him to find happiness, just like she had with Jasper. Except she didn't realise that Edward was happy on his own, not feeling the need for someone else.

Edward craned his head, looking around the store for a seat. He finally spotted a large, plush, purple atrocity of a sofa, some of the stuffing poking out of a large hole in it. One side of it was vacated by a young woman about his age, who had her head resting up against the back of her seat. She stared at nothing and would every now and then lift up her arm, place her wrist in front of her face to look at her watch, and drop her arm on the seat again with a 'flop'.

He chuckled. She looked about as bored as he felt. He noted how pretty she was. She was dressed on only simple clothing – a pair of blue jeans, black converse shoes and a black hoodie with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows – and he knew that Alice would not approve of her simple attire. She was a beautiful heart shaped face framed by long dark brown hair, and had gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. She was slouched in her seat, with her legs stretched out in front of her.

Alice followed Edward's gaze to the seat and the girl and smirked. "Alright. Take a break, soldier."

Edward smiled at Alice, letting out a sigh of relief, and left immediately, not wanting her to change her mind.

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Bella was oh so bored. Oh so very, very bored. She internally cursed Emmett who had guilted her into coming for 'moral support'. All he wanted to do was flirt with the lingerie saleslady who they had seen the other day. No moral support needed. Emmett may be her best friend, but she was debating how much longer that would last, what with her impending boredom induced death.

"Bella, Bella!" Emmett cried happily as he ran over to her, jumping up and down like a little boy on Christmas morning. His curls bounced on the top of his head, his eyes sparkling and the dimple smile in full force. She had not seen him this excited over a girl before.

"Ready to go?" Bella asked hopefully, standing up.

"No, Bells. She's wonderful. Rosalie is perfect. She is so beautiful and she likes so many things that I do. Can you believe she knows just as much as I do about cars, probably even more!" Emmett asked, in awe, eyes becoming glassy.

Bella's eyes widened and she raised her eyebrows. This was surprising. Emmett was a big car buff and this woman, who looked like a model for some big magazine, shared this with him. She smiled.

"Alright. Since you obviously don't need me anymore, I can go."

"What?" Emmett laughed loudly, causing a few shoppers around to look at him curiously. "Remember, we took my car. You're stuck here with me. Rosie just had to serve a few customers until she has time to talk, so I just wanted to stop by. Besides, I got your wallet. You can't leave without it!" he sang the last part, amused at the glare on Bella's face. She seemed more like a furious kitten, soft and harmless.

"Fine!" she growled and fell back onto the seat, sprawling her legs in front of her and resting her head on the back of the seat. She was annoyed that she had been roped into this trip when she obviously had things to do for a few of her college classes. It was her final year and she wanted to continue with the hard work the whole way through, not slacking off just because it was close to the end.

"Oh!" Emmett looked back in the direction of the counter. "She's free. See ya later, Bella!" He left without another moment to spare.

Bella's shoulders slumped as he realised that they may not be out for a while. Not when Emmett was _this_ hung up over a girl. She sighed, trying to push away any annoyance for the oversized teddy bear, and tried to be happier for him.

Lazily she lifted up her left arm and moved her watch into her range of slight, unwilling to waste energy with moving her head. One she noted the time, she flopped her arm back to her side.

She was getting lost in her thoughts, barely aware of her surroundings, until she as pulled out of them by the left side of the sofa sagging slightly under someone's weight. She squashed the hope that Emmett was finally finished and ready to go as she turned her head, looking at the most beautiful man on the planet.

He ran his hand through his bronze hair again, a sign of nervousness or frustration, she couldn't tell which, and sighed. The movement caused Bella to look at his lean body, muscles clearly defined underneath his long sleeved shirt and jeans. She looked back at his face and saw his emerald eyes watching her curiously.

She turned away quickly, a blush overtaking her cheeks, embarrassed that she had been caught in her ogle session. This was why she never ogled people. Well, also because there was never really anyone as attractive as this man sitting next to her.

"Sorry, was this seat taken?" he asked politely in a smooth voice, sounding unintentionally seductive to Bella's ears.

Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts, glad that it was also the answer to his question as she was unable to form a coherent sentence.

Edward smiled a crooked smile and leant back on the seat as well. The soreness in his legs began to dull with the weight being off them and he sighed again.

"You dragged here as well?" he asked, making small talk.

Bella smiled. "Yes. See that?" she asked as she pointed to the counter where Emmett was leaning over, whispering something into Rosalie's ear.

"Yes..." Edward replied, noting the couple.

"He guilted me into coming." Bella sulked, crossing her arms over her chest. She waited a moment and looked at the man sitting next to her, who was frowning.

"I don't think I understand. Your...boyfriend? brought you here and is currently flirting with another woman?" Edward verified, confused and disbelieving.

Bella laughed. "No, he isn't my boyfriend. He's my best friend. We came here the other day and he saw Rosalie, the saleslady. He wanted to come back again to talk with her, and begged me to come for 'moral support'. I haven't even done anything the whole time I've been here!" she cried out, annoyed. Her arms fell on the sofa with another 'flop'. She hadn't realised she had been gesticulating like that.

Edward chuckled.

Bella's cheeks flamed as she realised she had been ranting to a total stranger. _He probably thinks I'm a wacko or something._ She decided to change the course of the conversation.

"What about you? Wouldn't your...girlfriend be looking for you?" she asked, wondering why a young man like him would be sitting on an ugly chair next to a ranting stranger when he could help his girlfriend pick out some fancy underwear.

"I don't have a girlfriend," he admitted quietly. "My sister dragged me here to the mall. Apparently making me stand hours on end is not torture enough for me, so she decided to bring me _here_."

Bella wondered why his sister would bring him to the lingerie section. She would not be comfortable at all if she had a brother accompanying her in that part of the store. Not that she had any siblings...

Edward saw Bella's expression. "Her boyfriend couldn't come and she wanted someone to carry the bags. That's why I'm here."

Bella nodding, understanding now.

There was an awkward silence. Bella fiddled with some of the stuffing poking out of a hole in the sofa. She noticed it was a slight shade of green so she quickly pulled away. _Ew._ Edward and Bella both thought that they had revealed too much and the other was ignoring them. How wrong they both were...

Edward cleared his throat. "So what is it that you do?"

Bella smiled, glad that he was still willing to speak with her. "I'm in my final year of college. English major." She shrugged.

"Really? What would you like to do when you've completed?" Edward inquired, curiosity piqued. He shifted his body on the sofa so that he was facing her more. His bright eyes searched her face.

Bella blushed under his scrutiny. "I'm tossing up between becoming a journalist or an author. I would love to do either. What about you?" she was quick to shift the conversation away from herself.

"I'm a pre-med student," Edward began...

Bella and Edward spoke more about their lives, absorbed in one another's presence. Not only were they intrigued with what the other had to say, but both could not deny the attraction they felt for one another.

Bella was amazed that someone so beautiful could be so kind, smart and funny. She hadn't laughed as much as she had in a long while. That's saying something when Emmett is your best friend.

Edward felt such at ease with her. Conversation flowed easily. He was entranced by her, wanting to learn as much as he could about her.

"Would you like to get out of here, come to a cafe maybe?" Edward asked hesitantly. His hand absentmindedly ran through his hair, a sign that he was nervous.

Bella smiled, heart fluttering. She, too, wanted to spend more time getting to know this gorgeous stranger. "On one condition," she stated confidently.

There was a moment's silence. "Being?" Edward pressed.

"You tell me your name."

Edward laughed, relief coursing through him. "Edward Cullen. Nice to meet you," he said, sticking his hand out to grasp hers.

"Bella Swan," she said, placing her hand in his. He brought it up to his lips, never breaking eye contact with her, and softly kissed her knuckles. Bella's breathing hitched. She'd only ever seen that move in movies. Any other guy would be unable to pull it off, but Edward was so smooth and sexy, he did it with ease.

Edward let go of her hand and they both mourned the loss of the contact.

"So, shall we?" Edward asked.

Bella smiled before it was wiped off her face. "Oh no. Emmett has my wallet, and he won't return it to me. I can't leave without it, it's got my key and everything in there. I'm sorry," she said sincerely, feeling deflated.

Edward frowned, thoroughly disappointed, and he could sense that she truly was sorry. He knew it was only a matter of time before Alice would come prancing back to make him carry a whole load more, and he wanted to spend the afternoon with Bella.

An idea made him perk up and a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Let me take care of it," he said cryptically, getting up and leaving before she said another word.

Edward strolled purposefully, aware of Bella's eyes boring holes in his back, towards the counter with the blonde saleslady and Bella's friend, Emmett. He noticed the large bulge in the pocket of his jeans where Bella's wallet must be concealed. It would be tricky, but the fact that the wallet was sticking out slightly gave him hope. If he was noticed, he would be in massive trouble; Emmett, after all, didn't know that it was a favour for Bella.

The blonde saleslady – _Rosalie, it must be,_ Edward thought – gave him a kind smile as she saw him approaching then turned back to Emmett while placing things on hangers. He smiled back and when he was just in the perfect distance, heart thumping wildly, he fake-tripped, stumbling into Emmett. In the process he nicked the wallet out of his pocket and smoothly placed it in his jacket pocket. Edward hoped Emmett wouldn't notice any difference.

"Whoa, man. You okay there?" Emmett chuckled with a friendly smile, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"Yeah, thanks," Edward said. He was surprised that such an initially intimidating looking man seemed to be so...jolly. He thought of stereotypical muscular 'tough' men, and knew that wasn't like Emmett.

Edward turned to Rosalie, fully playing out his role. After all, he couldn't pass just by stumbling into Emmett and walking back. "Could you please direct me to the bathrooms?" he asked politely.

"Sure. Just head back in that direction," she said, pointing pass the atrocious purple sofa, "and turn to the left right before the exit."

Edward nodded, grateful that they could make an easy, inconspicuous escape. "Thank you," he said before turning and heading back to the sofa. He looked over his shoulder again to see Emmett and Rosalie deeply immersed in conversation again.

Bella watched the whole interaction wide-eyed. She couldn't believe Edward had just done that. It was very daring, as if Emmett had noticed, he would have pummelled Edward right there on the spot. Of course he didn't know that she knew him. Though even that probably wouldn't have stopped him. Surely he wouldn't approve of pick-pocketing. Bella grinned at Edward's antics.

Edward stepped forward, grinning, adrenaline coursing through him as he thought of what he just did. He passed her the wallet and held out a hand for her, still smiling. "Care to be my partner in crime, milady?"

Bella giggled, placing her hand in his, watching his emerald eyes sparkle with excitement. "I'd love to. Let's get out of here before your sister or Emmett returns."

With that they walked fast paced to the doors. They could feel the excitement pouring out of one another. As they reached the exit, they could hear yelling, sounding as if it could only come from a small person.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!"

Edward grinned and turned his head to see an angry Alice on the opposite side of the lingerie section. _Good, a safe distance,_ Edward thought.

The yelling drew attention to several people in the store, including none other than Emmett and Rosalie. Bella saw Emmett's eyes widen as he took in the man who had previously bumped into him holding hands with his best friend. He looked down, patting his pocket and returned to watching them. Then he burst into loud guffaws.

"You should thank me, Belly, for dragging you here after all!" he called out, still laughing.

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A/N:** Haha, I loved writing this. Just a story I came up with while I was waiting for my own shopping partner to finish browsing the store. It seems I always end up on that darn waiting chair. If only _my_ Edward would come for me... *looks into distance with a corny dreamy look on face*

Lol. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this. Please review. Reviews really do make my day. :D

This was just another one of my third person creations. If you liked this, please read 'The Apple Tree', which is my other third person one.

Oh! One last thing. Please vote for my story in the Epic T-rated contest. If you haven't read it, please do so. Leave a review. And maybe vote for it, if you really like it.

Steph


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